(all quotes from Henry Rollins, "The Iron")
"Yukio Mishima said that he could not entertain the idea of romance if he was not strong. Romance is such a strong and overwhelming passion, a weakened body cannot sustain it for long. I have some of my most romantic thoughts when I am with the Iron. Once I was in love with a woman. I thought about her the most when the pain from a workout was racing through my body.
Everything in me wanted her. So much so that sex was only a fraction of my total desire. It was the single most intense love I have ever felt, but she lived far away and I didn't see her very often. Working out was a healthy way of dealing with the loneliness. To this day, when I work out I usually listen to ballads."
If you've never read "The Iron" by Henry Rollins, (http://www.oldtimestrongman.com/strength-articles/iron-henry-rollins) I implore you to do so, athlete or not... for me, it hits home harder than anything I've ever read in my entire life. This is one of my favorite passages in it, because like him, I train the same way.
Most people like to use anger to drive them in the weight room... they use it as motivation and I get that, but I've always found that anger makes me mess up. Anger drives me to think with a clouded vision... I prefer passion. I prefer to think of things in my past, regrets, missed opportunities, failed romances and potential new ones... opportunities that are there and I need to push myself to take control of.. they drive me to think clearly of what I've given up or let slip through my hands and make me want to be better, more so than anger ever could.
I'd rather listen to a song that inspires emotion and hell, even chokes me up a little. Failure is what drives me, or rather, the fear of facing it again. I've learned that no matter how strong I get, no matter how much of a burden on my back I can carry, no matter how much physical pain I can endure, I am weak when it comes to caring about things... when it comes to caring about my friends and my family... I can't hold back when I want something and feel so passionately about it. This is what drives me and I've learned to harness it.
"I believe that when the body is strong, the mind thinks strong thoughts. Time spent away from the Iron makes my mind degenerate. I wallow in a thick depression. My body shuts down my mind.
The Iron is the best antidepressant I have ever found. There is no better way to fight weakness than with strength. Once the mind and body have been awakened to their true potential, it's impossible to turn back."
I've touched on this in previous posts, but accomplishment is one of the greatest things you can do for yourself... My rock bottom isn't as low as most people's, but I've been there... drunk and depressed, not giving a fuck about anything. I gave up on school several times, but I'm still here and I'll finish it through... the only thing that has kept me going though was my love for my sport.
Yes, it has caused me to alienate people sometimes, but it has also saved me from my own demise. It gave me a reason to better myself and it gave and continues to give me hope. Every time I go to the gym to train, I feel fear... it's a good kind of fear though, an anxiety that makes me happy when it's conquered... when you sit around and just don't give a fuck about anything, the fear brings things into perspective
And, much like Mr. Rollins, when I'm away from that fear, from pushing myself to the limits, it makes me depressed... it makes me go crazy... I can't think straight and I wind up making mistakes... however, a week back into heavy training and everything gets back into focus.... it really is a life saver.
"The Iron never lies to you. You can walk outside and listen to all kinds of talk, get told that you're a god or a total bastard. The Iron will always kick you the real deal. The Iron is the great reference point, the all-knowing perspective giver. Always there like a beacon in the pitch black. I have found the Iron to be my greatest friend. It never freaks out on me, never runs. Friends may come and go. But two hundred pounds is always two hundred pounds."
I don't think I can say it any clearer... I've met a lot of people in my life, from high school, to the military, to college and elsewhere... some great friends and some great acquaintances, but the one thing that has never changed is the iron... I always know to expect.. either victory or defeat, but either way, I know I'll be "kicked the real deal".
I've found that nowadays, people don't want real honesty... real honesty hurts, real honesty is what makes people "crazy"... go for it, go tell someone you're trying to pursue that you care about them and see how far that gets you... go tell your boss how much of an asshole he or she is... go tell your friend that what they're doing in life is fucking stupid... it's honest, but no one wants to hear it... they want to hear things that will give them hope... it's sad, but true.
Personally, I'll take honesty... I don't want to hear bullshit that will get my hopes up.. I'm a fucking man, either kick it to me straight or shut the fuck up. That's what the iron does and that's why I love it.
So what drives you? Is it anger? is it passion? Are you sick of looking around at the world and seeing nothing but bullshit in front of you everyday? If so, find something that is always honest, always real... it'll do you good.... and if you haven't yet, pick up a fucking weight, I promise it'll change your life.
Monday, August 22, 2011
Thursday, August 4, 2011
why?
I get asked that question a lot... why do I compete? Why do I train so heavy? Why do I get injured and thirst for more? It's understandable, I guess... Why would any sane human being beat themselves to a pulp, walking on the verge of pain and suffering, day in and day out and just come back for more? I honestly, can't tell you.
I guess it's like being an addict? Maybe... As I sit here and write this, 8 weeks out of surgery from a torn bicep, I am going nuts because I can't train as hard as I want to. I'm squatting 3 times a week, against my own better judgement because I miss the feeling that comes along with training and I can't handle doing it just once a week.
The thing is, it's not just me... there is a whole network of strength athletes that understand the pain I'm going through of being away from training. We all love it... the blood, the sweat, the spots we see after a heavy set or the being on the verge of blacking out.... it's that feeling of pushing yourself to the edge and back... a feeling that not many people in the world will know, and most are afraid of. We're the few and the hungry... we yearn for that feeling.
The thing is, for as insane as we are, we're just your normal everyday people... sons, daughters, brothers, sisters, fathers, mothers, workers, students, doctors, construction workers, etc... but no matter our walk of life, there is the idea that we adhere to... that mediocrity isn't enough. It's either go hard or go home. That's probably why when we get together, the eccentricity comes out... we've grown comfortable in our own skin because we know that it takes an inner drive and intestinal fortitude to even be where we are, on the field of competition. There is no room for pettiness on the battlefield.
I've met some ridiculous personalities in this sport.. from the shy quiet guy to the most extroverted people I've ever come across, but no matter what, when it's time to step up to that bar, we all turn into the same entity... a ball of channeled rage, fear, strength, excitement and whatever other feeling it takes to overcome the task at hand. It's the risk we undertake for the accomplishment of something bigger than ourselves.
Fame isn't something that goes hand in hand with strength sports... rather, it is only afforded to the lucky few, but glory and accomplishment are feelings that we get to feel everyday. How many people that don't have something they strive to be great at can say that? Every time you push out one more rep, 10 more pounds, shave off 2 seconds on a medley time.. it's an accomplishment, a gauge to yourself that you are getting better, that you are accomplishing something.
I learned a lot time ago that our time here on earth is limited... from losing friends from all sorts of causes, to coming face to face with a couple handfuls of Iraqi fireworks... and each time, it solidified in me the desire to make myself better than normal... it solidified my idea to say what needs to be said, regardless of the outcome.... it solidified my idea to take risks and whether or not they turn out in my favor, at least I know I'll never wonder what if.
So why is it that I love strength sports? Well, because every person I've ever met in this sport and I all know the same thing... "It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat."- Theodore Roosevelt
With all that said, I encourage you to go out and do something that you love, to the point that you'll do whatever it takes to be better at it... not great at it, but better at it than you are now... take risks, tell people things that you've meant to tell them for a while... don't be mediocre, because the way things are going nowadays, we can't afford anymore mediocrity
I guess it's like being an addict? Maybe... As I sit here and write this, 8 weeks out of surgery from a torn bicep, I am going nuts because I can't train as hard as I want to. I'm squatting 3 times a week, against my own better judgement because I miss the feeling that comes along with training and I can't handle doing it just once a week.
The thing is, it's not just me... there is a whole network of strength athletes that understand the pain I'm going through of being away from training. We all love it... the blood, the sweat, the spots we see after a heavy set or the being on the verge of blacking out.... it's that feeling of pushing yourself to the edge and back... a feeling that not many people in the world will know, and most are afraid of. We're the few and the hungry... we yearn for that feeling.
The thing is, for as insane as we are, we're just your normal everyday people... sons, daughters, brothers, sisters, fathers, mothers, workers, students, doctors, construction workers, etc... but no matter our walk of life, there is the idea that we adhere to... that mediocrity isn't enough. It's either go hard or go home. That's probably why when we get together, the eccentricity comes out... we've grown comfortable in our own skin because we know that it takes an inner drive and intestinal fortitude to even be where we are, on the field of competition. There is no room for pettiness on the battlefield.
I've met some ridiculous personalities in this sport.. from the shy quiet guy to the most extroverted people I've ever come across, but no matter what, when it's time to step up to that bar, we all turn into the same entity... a ball of channeled rage, fear, strength, excitement and whatever other feeling it takes to overcome the task at hand. It's the risk we undertake for the accomplishment of something bigger than ourselves.
Fame isn't something that goes hand in hand with strength sports... rather, it is only afforded to the lucky few, but glory and accomplishment are feelings that we get to feel everyday. How many people that don't have something they strive to be great at can say that? Every time you push out one more rep, 10 more pounds, shave off 2 seconds on a medley time.. it's an accomplishment, a gauge to yourself that you are getting better, that you are accomplishing something.
I learned a lot time ago that our time here on earth is limited... from losing friends from all sorts of causes, to coming face to face with a couple handfuls of Iraqi fireworks... and each time, it solidified in me the desire to make myself better than normal... it solidified my idea to say what needs to be said, regardless of the outcome.... it solidified my idea to take risks and whether or not they turn out in my favor, at least I know I'll never wonder what if.
So why is it that I love strength sports? Well, because every person I've ever met in this sport and I all know the same thing... "It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat."- Theodore Roosevelt
With all that said, I encourage you to go out and do something that you love, to the point that you'll do whatever it takes to be better at it... not great at it, but better at it than you are now... take risks, tell people things that you've meant to tell them for a while... don't be mediocre, because the way things are going nowadays, we can't afford anymore mediocrity
Thursday, October 14, 2010
saying so long to an old friend: my experience with quitting booze
I've actually gotten quite a few requests from people for me to write about my experience with quitting drinking. so here it is.
Where do I begin? The last time I had a sip of alcohol was probably around 3am on the 27th of June. How do I know this? Well, for one, it was the weekend before the 4th of July, but also, if you've had the long run with booze like I had (about a solid 14 years), then you really fixate on when your mind can start to think clearly again.
I used to drink, a lot. Not often, just every single weekend, and when I drank... I DRANK! I know what you're thinking, "dude, I drink a lot too".... well, I'm just gonna go out on a limb here and say, put your baby shit away.
I'd like to preface this next sentence with the notion that in no way at all do I think the amount of how much I was able to put away in a night is something to be looked up to or emulated. When I talk about drinking a lot, I'm talking about something in the ball park of maybe a 750ml bottle of vodka or an 18 pack of Guinness... to pregame, and then, I'd go out to the bar and more than likely, have about 8-10 beers, or else I'd go straight for the Jim Beam and cokes... doubles, just a spritz of coke, for about 6-8... and all of that isn't counting possible shots that I might take... although, I'm not big on doing shots... I mean, come on, I do have my limits
Oh yea, I also forgot to mention my affinity to buy about 2 or 3 Four Lokos around midnight, when I'm slowly fading away to "see you next week" land, and slam those so I could hang for a couple more hours.
I know what you're thinking.. "bullshit" and I wish I could say that it was bullshit, but its not.
I'm not proud of it at all. Now that I'm sober and look back on it, I'm actually pretty ashamed. The sad fact is though, I've been drinking like that since I was in high school. I used to carry a 30 pack around with me at every party I'd go to, and I've been known to finish it on more than several occasions.
So fast forward to June 27. I woke up the next morning, and after several months of hating the way I was, I made a decision. I decided to quit drinking. I mean, sure, I had a lot of good times going out with friends, but I put it into perspective. Any time I actually had a good time, I wasn't that drunk. (You know how good of a time you can have when your little buddy won't wake up? not a very good one)
I know that most people would just say, "Why don't you just not drink as much?" Well, lets take a look at my life. I joined the military at 17 and decided to jump out of planes. I got out, moved to Ohio and took up a sport that has put me through injuries in 3 years than I ever had in the entirety of my life beforehand, I threw on 60lbs of body weight in less than a year, and now I'm going through poverty so I can make my dreams of never having to work a 9-5 job come true... I'm not one for moderation.
I don't understand the concept of moderation. Fuck moderation, its stupid. Either I'm doing it, or I'm not. I don't do anything "once in a while". I'm stubborn as fuck and I love to do things to the extreme, which has its downfalls, but I guarantee you'll never have to question my commitment toward something, whether its a friendship, relationship or sport. So on that note, I had to quit cold turkey, otherwise, I wasn't going to quit at all.
Don't get me wrong, I definitely miss going out and getting a buzz going, but I have bigger fish to fry. You know what its like to have a 4 day hangover and to try to be productive? And I'm not talking about the 4th day just being a day of lingering effects... its still a full on hangover. It sucks.
Oh yea, lets not forget that I smoked about a pack of cigarettes, if not more, every night that I drank. It was horrible. I constantly felt like shit and had the audacity to wonder why my training wasn't going anywhere.
I was blowing smoke up my own ass. I was telling myself that I was a strength athlete when in all actuality, I was a drunk who participated in a sport.
I hit my own version of rock bottom and it was awful. Thank God my version of rock bottom is only fucking up my grades and not going anywhere in my sport. It could have been a lot worse... lets just say, I'm happy I never had to suck a dick.
Well, lets fast forward to today. I feel great. I'm a lean, mean, machine. My priorities in life have changed drastically. Once I stopped focusing on what I was going to drink that coming weekend and started focusing on working toward goals to get my dream going, doors began to "magically" open. Its amazing what happens when you start to actually work hard instead of just wondering why shit never goes your way.
I'll admit one thing though. Its a lonely road. If you're going to make a decision to change your life like I did, make sure you have a good support system. I have a great support system, but like I said before, I'm a "face things head on" type of guy and asking for help isn't exactly my strong suit, but I know its there and I'm thankful.
Being on a college campus doesn't make things any easier. I might as well be a fucking leper. I'd like to say I don't care, but I'll always have that feeling like I'm missing out on something. My only saving grace is the fact that I'm a narcissist and I know that the work and dedication I'm putting into the moves I'm making now, are going to pay off in the future.
I mean, lets face it... I wish I was out every night chasing down hot college broads and getting shitfaced with my friends, but I also know that in 5 years, when I'm on top of the world, none of that shit will have mattered... those college broads will be telling there friends how in one point in time, they knew me and I'll be laughing in my bath tub full of hundred dollar bills (yes, I'm going to bathe in money when I get rich)
I dunno... my experience is just like any other decision. You just have to do it.. not "want" to do it, JUST FUCKING DO IT. Making the decision to do something is 99 percent of accomplishing a task... the actual execution is easy. (I should site Dave Tate here, since I got this idea from one of his articles.)
If there is something not going your way in your life, or you're wondering why things aren't going your way, take a look in the mirror and wonder why that is. For me, it was because of alcohol. What's your "excuse"? How are you holding yourself back?
Where do I begin? The last time I had a sip of alcohol was probably around 3am on the 27th of June. How do I know this? Well, for one, it was the weekend before the 4th of July, but also, if you've had the long run with booze like I had (about a solid 14 years), then you really fixate on when your mind can start to think clearly again.
I used to drink, a lot. Not often, just every single weekend, and when I drank... I DRANK! I know what you're thinking, "dude, I drink a lot too".... well, I'm just gonna go out on a limb here and say, put your baby shit away.
I'd like to preface this next sentence with the notion that in no way at all do I think the amount of how much I was able to put away in a night is something to be looked up to or emulated. When I talk about drinking a lot, I'm talking about something in the ball park of maybe a 750ml bottle of vodka or an 18 pack of Guinness... to pregame, and then, I'd go out to the bar and more than likely, have about 8-10 beers, or else I'd go straight for the Jim Beam and cokes... doubles, just a spritz of coke, for about 6-8... and all of that isn't counting possible shots that I might take... although, I'm not big on doing shots... I mean, come on, I do have my limits
Oh yea, I also forgot to mention my affinity to buy about 2 or 3 Four Lokos around midnight, when I'm slowly fading away to "see you next week" land, and slam those so I could hang for a couple more hours.
I know what you're thinking.. "bullshit" and I wish I could say that it was bullshit, but its not.
I'm not proud of it at all. Now that I'm sober and look back on it, I'm actually pretty ashamed. The sad fact is though, I've been drinking like that since I was in high school. I used to carry a 30 pack around with me at every party I'd go to, and I've been known to finish it on more than several occasions.
So fast forward to June 27. I woke up the next morning, and after several months of hating the way I was, I made a decision. I decided to quit drinking. I mean, sure, I had a lot of good times going out with friends, but I put it into perspective. Any time I actually had a good time, I wasn't that drunk. (You know how good of a time you can have when your little buddy won't wake up? not a very good one)
I know that most people would just say, "Why don't you just not drink as much?" Well, lets take a look at my life. I joined the military at 17 and decided to jump out of planes. I got out, moved to Ohio and took up a sport that has put me through injuries in 3 years than I ever had in the entirety of my life beforehand, I threw on 60lbs of body weight in less than a year, and now I'm going through poverty so I can make my dreams of never having to work a 9-5 job come true... I'm not one for moderation.
I don't understand the concept of moderation. Fuck moderation, its stupid. Either I'm doing it, or I'm not. I don't do anything "once in a while". I'm stubborn as fuck and I love to do things to the extreme, which has its downfalls, but I guarantee you'll never have to question my commitment toward something, whether its a friendship, relationship or sport. So on that note, I had to quit cold turkey, otherwise, I wasn't going to quit at all.
Don't get me wrong, I definitely miss going out and getting a buzz going, but I have bigger fish to fry. You know what its like to have a 4 day hangover and to try to be productive? And I'm not talking about the 4th day just being a day of lingering effects... its still a full on hangover. It sucks.
Oh yea, lets not forget that I smoked about a pack of cigarettes, if not more, every night that I drank. It was horrible. I constantly felt like shit and had the audacity to wonder why my training wasn't going anywhere.
I was blowing smoke up my own ass. I was telling myself that I was a strength athlete when in all actuality, I was a drunk who participated in a sport.
I hit my own version of rock bottom and it was awful. Thank God my version of rock bottom is only fucking up my grades and not going anywhere in my sport. It could have been a lot worse... lets just say, I'm happy I never had to suck a dick.
Well, lets fast forward to today. I feel great. I'm a lean, mean, machine. My priorities in life have changed drastically. Once I stopped focusing on what I was going to drink that coming weekend and started focusing on working toward goals to get my dream going, doors began to "magically" open. Its amazing what happens when you start to actually work hard instead of just wondering why shit never goes your way.
I'll admit one thing though. Its a lonely road. If you're going to make a decision to change your life like I did, make sure you have a good support system. I have a great support system, but like I said before, I'm a "face things head on" type of guy and asking for help isn't exactly my strong suit, but I know its there and I'm thankful.
Being on a college campus doesn't make things any easier. I might as well be a fucking leper. I'd like to say I don't care, but I'll always have that feeling like I'm missing out on something. My only saving grace is the fact that I'm a narcissist and I know that the work and dedication I'm putting into the moves I'm making now, are going to pay off in the future.
I mean, lets face it... I wish I was out every night chasing down hot college broads and getting shitfaced with my friends, but I also know that in 5 years, when I'm on top of the world, none of that shit will have mattered... those college broads will be telling there friends how in one point in time, they knew me and I'll be laughing in my bath tub full of hundred dollar bills (yes, I'm going to bathe in money when I get rich)
I dunno... my experience is just like any other decision. You just have to do it.. not "want" to do it, JUST FUCKING DO IT. Making the decision to do something is 99 percent of accomplishing a task... the actual execution is easy. (I should site Dave Tate here, since I got this idea from one of his articles.)
If there is something not going your way in your life, or you're wondering why things aren't going your way, take a look in the mirror and wonder why that is. For me, it was because of alcohol. What's your "excuse"? How are you holding yourself back?
Friday, October 8, 2010
Wishing in one hand, crapping in another
Recently, I've been making some moves, emailing some people about possible projects and working my ass off so I can make this whole "being strong" thing and the knowledge that I've attained over the past 14 years become lucrative for me. I'm not exactly the 9-5 job type of guy.. I'd rather have a bullet in my head.
So, in order to put my name out there, I made a fan page on facebook and I've gotten some criticism about it from a couple of people, which is fine, I could care less. I'm a fan of criticism... just read my last blog. I realize that I'm still just another schmuck at the bottom of the barrel, scratching his way to the top, but I'll tell you this.. I guarantee I will be on top. Go ahead, doubt me, it just adds fuel to my fire.
There's an old saying (I think its old anyway) "Wish in one hand, crap in another.. see which one fills up first"... its true. Everybody wants to be on top, but no one is willing to do the work. Keep wishing though, one day you might win a scratch off, but until then, if YOU don't get out there and promote yourself, then nobody gives a shit if you're the next great thing, regardless if its at your job, in your sport, or any other endeavor in your life.
The difference between me and other people? I know I'm the next best thing and I'm gonna hype myself up as such, but I also realize that if I don't bust my ass to live up to that hype, I'm going to crash down hard and fast. Its a risk, but without risk, there is no reward.
This whole process that I've been going through pretty much encompasses my entire belief system. I realize that I need the help of everyone around me, because lets be honest, I don't know shit about being a responsible adult, I need to get stronger in certain areas of my sport and when you give up everything else in your life to chase a dream, poverty goes hand in hand. Conversely though, I'm stubborn as fuck and will quit when I'm dead. Plus, I don't give a shit what anyone outside of my "inner circle" thinks about me. This world has 6 billion people in it, I don't plan on walking through the pearly gates with out pissing off at least a few people. On that note, bury me upside down so that anyone who doesn't like me can kiss my ass.
I realize this sounds like me defending my choices, which it partially is, but its also a wake up call to people out there wishing that they had a better job, were a better athlete, or just had a better life. Here's a tip... GET OFF YOUR FUCKING ASS AND GO MAKE IT HAPPEN. Quit crying like a bitch about "how hard you have it" and make some fucking changes.
So, in order to put my name out there, I made a fan page on facebook and I've gotten some criticism about it from a couple of people, which is fine, I could care less. I'm a fan of criticism... just read my last blog. I realize that I'm still just another schmuck at the bottom of the barrel, scratching his way to the top, but I'll tell you this.. I guarantee I will be on top. Go ahead, doubt me, it just adds fuel to my fire.
There's an old saying (I think its old anyway) "Wish in one hand, crap in another.. see which one fills up first"... its true. Everybody wants to be on top, but no one is willing to do the work. Keep wishing though, one day you might win a scratch off, but until then, if YOU don't get out there and promote yourself, then nobody gives a shit if you're the next great thing, regardless if its at your job, in your sport, or any other endeavor in your life.
The difference between me and other people? I know I'm the next best thing and I'm gonna hype myself up as such, but I also realize that if I don't bust my ass to live up to that hype, I'm going to crash down hard and fast. Its a risk, but without risk, there is no reward.
This whole process that I've been going through pretty much encompasses my entire belief system. I realize that I need the help of everyone around me, because lets be honest, I don't know shit about being a responsible adult, I need to get stronger in certain areas of my sport and when you give up everything else in your life to chase a dream, poverty goes hand in hand. Conversely though, I'm stubborn as fuck and will quit when I'm dead. Plus, I don't give a shit what anyone outside of my "inner circle" thinks about me. This world has 6 billion people in it, I don't plan on walking through the pearly gates with out pissing off at least a few people. On that note, bury me upside down so that anyone who doesn't like me can kiss my ass.
I realize this sounds like me defending my choices, which it partially is, but its also a wake up call to people out there wishing that they had a better job, were a better athlete, or just had a better life. Here's a tip... GET OFF YOUR FUCKING ASS AND GO MAKE IT HAPPEN. Quit crying like a bitch about "how hard you have it" and make some fucking changes.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Everybodies an expert
It amazes me how many "experts" there are on the web nowadays. Go into any forum, for any subject, and every schmuck with a keyboard is the grand shirpa of knowledge. Its ridiculous. Somewhere in between searching for porn and facebook, they've figured out everything there is to know about anything (wait, you're telling me that the internet is used for things other than porn and facebook?)
Well, I'm here to tell you that you don't know shit. I don't know shit. Most of us don't know shit. We think we do, and yes, some of us may know a lot, but unless you're constantly learning and proving yourself wrong, then you my friend, are not going anywhere but in circles.
I wanted to write this now while its fresh in my brain, because it happens to me often. I figure out, or rather, someone else shows me something new and I have a "duh!" moment. It makes me remember that, even with 14 years of under the bar experience and more hours spent with my nose in training books than I'd ever care to admit to anyone (lets just say I should have a pocket protector), I'm still just a grasshopper making his way through the world, trying to become a master. But, without a doubt, in 2 months, I think I'm the shit again, and I'm wrong. (Savor this moment, because I am one stubborn fuck and I very seldom admit that I'm wrong)
So the question stands, how do we keep ourselves from becoming arrogant fucks? Well, its simple, but it requires a lot of humility. First, you must seek out people who are better than you. That's right... you need to swallow your pride and become a rookie again. I know, it sucks.... I'm going through it right now at Westside Barbell. I went in there seeking some help with my squat and bench and I found out that I suck at deadlifting... and squatting and benching. (By strong people terms... I'm still more awesome at all three than 99.9999999 percent of the population.. do the math)
You know what happens when you go into a place like that and people start giving you those little cues like "push your knees out" or "squeeze the bar with your pinky"? After enough repetition, something finally clicks and you go "duh!". All of the sudden you have shit all figured out again... well, you think you do. Shit, even the way I've put on my wrist wraps is different now because I saw someone else do it a different way and I was like "wow, that works about a million times better and is so fucking simple"
I went through that 2 years ago when I started doing strongman (and I still do every weekend... blunt criticism is the name of the game, and I am more than thankful for that). I thought I was strong. I mean, I was stronger than everyone else in the gym, so why wouldn't I be good at strongman? Oh wait, because my scope of knowledge about strength sports was limited to nothing but muscle mags and the shit that I unfortunately learned in the gym. (I've managed to replace most of that garbage with some good knowledge).
Now, you might be asking yourself "scope of huh?", and I'll explain. Before I started training for strongman, I had a limited scope of knowledge about strength sports, or, in lay man terms... my view (scope) of what being strong was, was small and warped. It happens a lot and its nobody's fault, but when you're stuck in a cave for forever, you think you're an expert on shit because you've never had anyone tell you differently, because more than likely, you share the same scope of knowledge as the people around you.
Quick example, and an obvious toot of my own horn, but when I was the "strong guy" in the gym, what I thought was a lot of weight then, has now become not so much weight. Deadlift 405lbs? Pfffttt, chhhhh... how about my goal for an axle clean and press within the next six months.... whats the weight of the deadlift for that competition? oh, a mid sized car.
Ok, I know I'm sounding cocky as fuck, but in all actuality, that's what runs through the heads of a lot of the people I train and compete with... I still find myself in awe of it when I go onto a forum of my fellow strongmen and they're talking about how its "only an 800lb yoke" or you see guys that are 230lbs running with 350lbs in each hand. Recently, my scope has grown again, after witnessing several times, people benching over 700lbs. Its crazy, I know, but when you begin to grow and learn, it becomes normal.
And here is my last point. You need to be able to take criticism. Forget all that bullshit you learned in school about everyone being special. You're not special... you're just another dumb fuck who's taking up my oxygen. You need to go into your trophy room and throw away all the trophies that say "participant" or "most spirit" because you know what? You didn't earn them... participating in something isn't an accomplishment.
I know, its a harsh reality and I'm a prick, but if everybody had more pricks in their life telling them the truth instead of blowing up their head like they're going to be the next great fucking CEO (even though they can't form complete sentences and use abbreviations like "lmfao"), then we probably wouldn't have so many shitty people who think that the world owes them something.
So, in closing your honor, I had no clue that there were 15 illegal immigran... oh wait, wrong closing argument... In short, if you don't have people that are better than you showing you things, giving you blunt criticisms and helping you to constantly grow, then all you can hope for is being good on a whim and that's like sticking your dick in a glory hole... it might feel good, but most likely, there's a dude on the other side of that wall.
Well, I'm here to tell you that you don't know shit. I don't know shit. Most of us don't know shit. We think we do, and yes, some of us may know a lot, but unless you're constantly learning and proving yourself wrong, then you my friend, are not going anywhere but in circles.
I wanted to write this now while its fresh in my brain, because it happens to me often. I figure out, or rather, someone else shows me something new and I have a "duh!" moment. It makes me remember that, even with 14 years of under the bar experience and more hours spent with my nose in training books than I'd ever care to admit to anyone (lets just say I should have a pocket protector), I'm still just a grasshopper making his way through the world, trying to become a master. But, without a doubt, in 2 months, I think I'm the shit again, and I'm wrong. (Savor this moment, because I am one stubborn fuck and I very seldom admit that I'm wrong)
So the question stands, how do we keep ourselves from becoming arrogant fucks? Well, its simple, but it requires a lot of humility. First, you must seek out people who are better than you. That's right... you need to swallow your pride and become a rookie again. I know, it sucks.... I'm going through it right now at Westside Barbell. I went in there seeking some help with my squat and bench and I found out that I suck at deadlifting... and squatting and benching. (By strong people terms... I'm still more awesome at all three than 99.9999999 percent of the population.. do the math)
You know what happens when you go into a place like that and people start giving you those little cues like "push your knees out" or "squeeze the bar with your pinky"? After enough repetition, something finally clicks and you go "duh!". All of the sudden you have shit all figured out again... well, you think you do. Shit, even the way I've put on my wrist wraps is different now because I saw someone else do it a different way and I was like "wow, that works about a million times better and is so fucking simple"
I went through that 2 years ago when I started doing strongman (and I still do every weekend... blunt criticism is the name of the game, and I am more than thankful for that). I thought I was strong. I mean, I was stronger than everyone else in the gym, so why wouldn't I be good at strongman? Oh wait, because my scope of knowledge about strength sports was limited to nothing but muscle mags and the shit that I unfortunately learned in the gym. (I've managed to replace most of that garbage with some good knowledge).
Now, you might be asking yourself "scope of huh?", and I'll explain. Before I started training for strongman, I had a limited scope of knowledge about strength sports, or, in lay man terms... my view (scope) of what being strong was, was small and warped. It happens a lot and its nobody's fault, but when you're stuck in a cave for forever, you think you're an expert on shit because you've never had anyone tell you differently, because more than likely, you share the same scope of knowledge as the people around you.
Quick example, and an obvious toot of my own horn, but when I was the "strong guy" in the gym, what I thought was a lot of weight then, has now become not so much weight. Deadlift 405lbs? Pfffttt, chhhhh... how about my goal for an axle clean and press within the next six months.... whats the weight of the deadlift for that competition? oh, a mid sized car.
Ok, I know I'm sounding cocky as fuck, but in all actuality, that's what runs through the heads of a lot of the people I train and compete with... I still find myself in awe of it when I go onto a forum of my fellow strongmen and they're talking about how its "only an 800lb yoke" or you see guys that are 230lbs running with 350lbs in each hand. Recently, my scope has grown again, after witnessing several times, people benching over 700lbs. Its crazy, I know, but when you begin to grow and learn, it becomes normal.
And here is my last point. You need to be able to take criticism. Forget all that bullshit you learned in school about everyone being special. You're not special... you're just another dumb fuck who's taking up my oxygen. You need to go into your trophy room and throw away all the trophies that say "participant" or "most spirit" because you know what? You didn't earn them... participating in something isn't an accomplishment.
I know, its a harsh reality and I'm a prick, but if everybody had more pricks in their life telling them the truth instead of blowing up their head like they're going to be the next great fucking CEO (even though they can't form complete sentences and use abbreviations like "lmfao"), then we probably wouldn't have so many shitty people who think that the world owes them something.
So, in closing your honor, I had no clue that there were 15 illegal immigran... oh wait, wrong closing argument... In short, if you don't have people that are better than you showing you things, giving you blunt criticisms and helping you to constantly grow, then all you can hope for is being good on a whim and that's like sticking your dick in a glory hole... it might feel good, but most likely, there's a dude on the other side of that wall.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
you don't know how shitty you actually feel till you stop feeling like shit
As a lot of you know, I've spent the last few months on a diet, cutting some body fat so I could not only be more agile in my sport of strongman, but also because I'm not a fan of being an unhealthy, fat, slob who has to take 5 minute breaks in between tying each shoe. I went from a fat 315 to a pretty respectable 300. My strength has sky rocketed and I've never felt better... well, thats not true, I felt great when I was 20, in the Army, about 9 percent body fat and could run 10 miles at the drop of a hat, but I digress... check out the progress in the link below.
Anyway, after my 12 weeks of the diet was over, I, being the the stupid asshole with no will power that I am, decided to start adding some foods back into my diet. I even went out and bought the same protein powder (I won't say which one, but it rhymes with Onster Ilk) I used to drink before I started my diet. What can I say? I wanted to EAT! Something horrible happened though... I started to feel the way I did before the diet! I felt (and still do as I'm writing this) awful! I began to reintroduce foods that were making me feel like shit in the first place.
You see, I never knew how awful I actually felt until I started to feel great. When I cut out all the shitty foods, booze, and other factors that were adding to my demise, I started to feel awesome. A lot of people go through life feeling like a complete tub of goo without even knowing it. They wake up feeling like shit, they drive to work feeling like shit, they come home feeling like shit and they go to bed feeling like shit. The sad part is though, they're so used to it, that its just, normal.
Its kind of like the allegory of the cav... uhhh, that might go over some of my reader's heads... Its kind of like the Truman Show. He never knew anything but the world that was presented to him and that was his reality. So many people have felt like shit for so long that they never know what feeling good ACTUALLY feels like.
Don't believe me? Give it a shot. Cut out the big food antagonists like dairy, wheat, alcohol and sugar for two weeks and then let me know how you feel. I'll bet you feel about 100 times better than you do now. Then, if you want, start to reintroduce those foods.
I learned that I can handle dairy very well, but wheat gluten makes me feel like doo doo brown. Its because of this, that I'm going to be going back to my "diet" and do another 12 weeks... my guess though, is that I'll be following this regimen for the duration of my competitive streak.
Believe me, when I get to the point that my ego no longer dictates the decisions in my life and I no longer want to, or probably, will be able to compete, my diet is going to be very simple. Can you say only 4 meals a day consisting of meat and vegetables? How easy is that?
Anyway, give an elimination diet a shot for 2 weeks and then let me know how fucking awesome you feel compared to the way you feel now.
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=234095&id=749848174&l=477f82c02d
Anyway, after my 12 weeks of the diet was over, I, being the the stupid asshole with no will power that I am, decided to start adding some foods back into my diet. I even went out and bought the same protein powder (I won't say which one, but it rhymes with Onster Ilk) I used to drink before I started my diet. What can I say? I wanted to EAT! Something horrible happened though... I started to feel the way I did before the diet! I felt (and still do as I'm writing this) awful! I began to reintroduce foods that were making me feel like shit in the first place.
You see, I never knew how awful I actually felt until I started to feel great. When I cut out all the shitty foods, booze, and other factors that were adding to my demise, I started to feel awesome. A lot of people go through life feeling like a complete tub of goo without even knowing it. They wake up feeling like shit, they drive to work feeling like shit, they come home feeling like shit and they go to bed feeling like shit. The sad part is though, they're so used to it, that its just, normal.
Its kind of like the allegory of the cav... uhhh, that might go over some of my reader's heads... Its kind of like the Truman Show. He never knew anything but the world that was presented to him and that was his reality. So many people have felt like shit for so long that they never know what feeling good ACTUALLY feels like.
Don't believe me? Give it a shot. Cut out the big food antagonists like dairy, wheat, alcohol and sugar for two weeks and then let me know how you feel. I'll bet you feel about 100 times better than you do now. Then, if you want, start to reintroduce those foods.
I learned that I can handle dairy very well, but wheat gluten makes me feel like doo doo brown. Its because of this, that I'm going to be going back to my "diet" and do another 12 weeks... my guess though, is that I'll be following this regimen for the duration of my competitive streak.
Believe me, when I get to the point that my ego no longer dictates the decisions in my life and I no longer want to, or probably, will be able to compete, my diet is going to be very simple. Can you say only 4 meals a day consisting of meat and vegetables? How easy is that?
Anyway, give an elimination diet a shot for 2 weeks and then let me know how fucking awesome you feel compared to the way you feel now.
Friday, September 24, 2010
My top 10 foods for bulking
I've gotten a lot of requests to give my two cents on a bulking diet... I don't know why, I'm just a schmuck with a keyboard, but ehhh, what the hell.
Personally, when it comes to gaining weight, it should be common sense, eat more than you burn, but... for some reason people can't grasp that concept. Eating a lot means, A LOT! 3 big meals a day won't cut it. You should shoot for more like 7 big meals a day.... lets just say, you should never not be full.
Now, before I get into my rant, you're probably wondering whats up with my new writing style.. ie, short and choppy sentences. Big Lou Costa told me that paragraphs don't keep people's attention, so I'm giving this a shot... I think he's doing it to sabotage me because he's jealous that I'm a lot more better looking than he is, but who knows.
Anyway, back to binge eating.. err, bulking. I know you think you eat a lot and for some reason, be it genetics, or otherwise, you just can't seem to gain weight. I'm gonna take a guess and say that you eat like a bitch... a whiny bitch at that. I'll give you my top 10 foods and then I'll write up a sample menu based on a 200lb guy and hopefully, it'll give you an idea what I mean by eating a lot. These will be in no particular order.
#10- Whole Milk
Whole milk is awesome.. I mean, 150 calories per cup, some good testosterone producing saturated fats, some sugars to refill your glycogen, and lets not forget, a great source of complete protein. Shit, just a half gallon a day is an extra easy 1200 calories. If you're lactose intolerant, get the lactose free version, or just deal with it... pussy.
#9- Oatmeal
Another great, calorie dense food, full of nutrients and fiber and will keep you fueled for those long hard days in the gym... but if you need someone to tell you how to get big, then your workout probably sucks anyway.
#8- Ground Beef (or any other type of meat)
I don't care if its 80/20 or 95/5.... just eat red meat. I like ground beef because its easy to cook and extremely versatile, but all meats are welcome.
#7- Eggs
Eat the whole god damned thing. Mother nature wasn't stupid, thats why she made eggs with a white and a yolk. The yolk is so damn nutrient dense, its ridiculous. Oh yea, forget about all that bullshit you learned about cholesterol and how its bad for you, nothing could be further from the truth.... sugar causes heart disease, not fat and cholesterol.
#6- Heavy Cream
Again, just some good animal fats and calorie dense. You should really eat fat with your protein because they work synergisticly. Think about it, mother nature isn't an idiot.
#5- Green vegetables
I know what you're thinking, "they're not full of protein and calories! how can they be good for bulking?" Because you need to eat your fucking vegetables. You still need to have a balanced diet and get your vitamins and say your prayers, brother!
#4- Nuts
Again, full of fiber, protein and good fats that will keep you fueled and give you some good calories. Plus, there have been studies shown that people who eat certain nuts are less likely to die prematurely... whatever the fuck that means.
#3- Fatty fish
Salmon is my favorite. Make sure you get it with the skin on.... want to know how to make the skin taste like bacon? Heat up some oil in a frying pan (preferably olive oil or coconut oil) and butter the skin side of a salmon filet... don't be a bitch with the butter either. Put it in the frying pan so the butter and oil hit each other, cook till its pink halfway through and then flip and cook to your desired doneness.... the skin will be your new favorite part. Oh yea, its also full of fat and protein... notice all the good healthy whole foods that are dense in protein are also full of fat... again, thats nature telling you something.
#2- Yogurt
Yogurt is good because not only does it have some good complete protein, but it also has little friend guys that like to keep your gut in check. Plus, who doesn't like yogurt? Communists, thats who.
#1- Whey protein
You need protein and its a great way to add extra protein into your diet. Plus, there is a myriad of other benefits whey protein has for your body. Just take my word for it.
Wow, coming up with 10 foods was harder than I though. Really, any food is good for bulking, as long as its nutrient and calorie dense and you're focusing on protein! Protein is our friend, but you knew that already.
Now, here is a simple meal plan I would do if I was a 200lb guy trying to put on size.
First, I'd make sure I was getting at least 2 grams of protein per pound of bodyweight.. so thats 400 grams per day.
A lot of people say that to gain weight, you need to eat at least 18-20 calories per pound of bodyweight a day. I personally, find I can gain a lot of weight with a significantly lower number. But lets start with 18 calories per pound, per day. Thats 3600 at the MINIMUM you should get a day. I'm not going to get into any fancy numbers, but I would focus on protein and let the rest of the macro nutrients fall into place... you're bulking, not trying to rub yourself down with oil so you can fit into a speedo... although, that might go hand in hand for some of you.
Sample Menu
Meal 1
4 hardboiled eggs
2 cups Oatmeal
16.oz Whole milk with a scoop or two of whey protein mixed in
(You could also just mix the whey protein with water and add a cup or two of yogurt here)
Meal 2
2 cups whole milk
2-3 scoops whey protein
1 Tbsp. mixed nuts
Meal 3
12 oz. ground beef
A sweet potato with some butter
a cup of Broccoli
Meal 4
2 cups whole milk
2-3 scoops whey protein
1 Tbsp. mixed nuts
Meal 5
12 oz. Salmon
Sweet potato or regular potato with some sour cream or butter
Spinach salad with your choice of salad dressing
Meal 6
2 cups whole milk
2-3 scoops whey protein
1 Tbsp. mixed nuts
Meal 7 (Switch it with any meal for your post workout shake)
3 scoops whey
70-80 grams waxy maize
5-10 grams creatine
This is a simple 6 meal diet plan. There is a half gallon of milk in there and tons of protein. Notice there aren't any processed foods in there and that its low on sugary products. Yea, potatoes are starchy, but it ain't a fuckin slurpee. Should you eat like this forever? Absolutely not, but if you eat like this for 12 week consistently, rock it in the gym and you don't gain weight, then I don't know what to tell you
Also, drink lots of water. Water is your friend and dehydration is bad.... and on that note.. I'm going to bed... peace out bitches.
Personally, when it comes to gaining weight, it should be common sense, eat more than you burn, but... for some reason people can't grasp that concept. Eating a lot means, A LOT! 3 big meals a day won't cut it. You should shoot for more like 7 big meals a day.... lets just say, you should never not be full.
Now, before I get into my rant, you're probably wondering whats up with my new writing style.. ie, short and choppy sentences. Big Lou Costa told me that paragraphs don't keep people's attention, so I'm giving this a shot... I think he's doing it to sabotage me because he's jealous that I'm a lot more better looking than he is, but who knows.
Anyway, back to binge eating.. err, bulking. I know you think you eat a lot and for some reason, be it genetics, or otherwise, you just can't seem to gain weight. I'm gonna take a guess and say that you eat like a bitch... a whiny bitch at that. I'll give you my top 10 foods and then I'll write up a sample menu based on a 200lb guy and hopefully, it'll give you an idea what I mean by eating a lot. These will be in no particular order.
#10- Whole Milk
Whole milk is awesome.. I mean, 150 calories per cup, some good testosterone producing saturated fats, some sugars to refill your glycogen, and lets not forget, a great source of complete protein. Shit, just a half gallon a day is an extra easy 1200 calories. If you're lactose intolerant, get the lactose free version, or just deal with it... pussy.
#9- Oatmeal
Another great, calorie dense food, full of nutrients and fiber and will keep you fueled for those long hard days in the gym... but if you need someone to tell you how to get big, then your workout probably sucks anyway.
#8- Ground Beef (or any other type of meat)
I don't care if its 80/20 or 95/5.... just eat red meat. I like ground beef because its easy to cook and extremely versatile, but all meats are welcome.
#7- Eggs
Eat the whole god damned thing. Mother nature wasn't stupid, thats why she made eggs with a white and a yolk. The yolk is so damn nutrient dense, its ridiculous. Oh yea, forget about all that bullshit you learned about cholesterol and how its bad for you, nothing could be further from the truth.... sugar causes heart disease, not fat and cholesterol.
#6- Heavy Cream
Again, just some good animal fats and calorie dense. You should really eat fat with your protein because they work synergisticly. Think about it, mother nature isn't an idiot.
#5- Green vegetables
I know what you're thinking, "they're not full of protein and calories! how can they be good for bulking?" Because you need to eat your fucking vegetables. You still need to have a balanced diet and get your vitamins and say your prayers, brother!
#4- Nuts
Again, full of fiber, protein and good fats that will keep you fueled and give you some good calories. Plus, there have been studies shown that people who eat certain nuts are less likely to die prematurely... whatever the fuck that means.
#3- Fatty fish
Salmon is my favorite. Make sure you get it with the skin on.... want to know how to make the skin taste like bacon? Heat up some oil in a frying pan (preferably olive oil or coconut oil) and butter the skin side of a salmon filet... don't be a bitch with the butter either. Put it in the frying pan so the butter and oil hit each other, cook till its pink halfway through and then flip and cook to your desired doneness.... the skin will be your new favorite part. Oh yea, its also full of fat and protein... notice all the good healthy whole foods that are dense in protein are also full of fat... again, thats nature telling you something.
#2- Yogurt
Yogurt is good because not only does it have some good complete protein, but it also has little friend guys that like to keep your gut in check. Plus, who doesn't like yogurt? Communists, thats who.
#1- Whey protein
You need protein and its a great way to add extra protein into your diet. Plus, there is a myriad of other benefits whey protein has for your body. Just take my word for it.
Wow, coming up with 10 foods was harder than I though. Really, any food is good for bulking, as long as its nutrient and calorie dense and you're focusing on protein! Protein is our friend, but you knew that already.
Now, here is a simple meal plan I would do if I was a 200lb guy trying to put on size.
First, I'd make sure I was getting at least 2 grams of protein per pound of bodyweight.. so thats 400 grams per day.
A lot of people say that to gain weight, you need to eat at least 18-20 calories per pound of bodyweight a day. I personally, find I can gain a lot of weight with a significantly lower number. But lets start with 18 calories per pound, per day. Thats 3600 at the MINIMUM you should get a day. I'm not going to get into any fancy numbers, but I would focus on protein and let the rest of the macro nutrients fall into place... you're bulking, not trying to rub yourself down with oil so you can fit into a speedo... although, that might go hand in hand for some of you.
Sample Menu
Meal 1
4 hardboiled eggs
2 cups Oatmeal
16.oz Whole milk with a scoop or two of whey protein mixed in
(You could also just mix the whey protein with water and add a cup or two of yogurt here)
Meal 2
2 cups whole milk
2-3 scoops whey protein
1 Tbsp. mixed nuts
Meal 3
12 oz. ground beef
A sweet potato with some butter
a cup of Broccoli
Meal 4
2 cups whole milk
2-3 scoops whey protein
1 Tbsp. mixed nuts
Meal 5
12 oz. Salmon
Sweet potato or regular potato with some sour cream or butter
Spinach salad with your choice of salad dressing
Meal 6
2 cups whole milk
2-3 scoops whey protein
1 Tbsp. mixed nuts
Meal 7 (Switch it with any meal for your post workout shake)
3 scoops whey
70-80 grams waxy maize
5-10 grams creatine
This is a simple 6 meal diet plan. There is a half gallon of milk in there and tons of protein. Notice there aren't any processed foods in there and that its low on sugary products. Yea, potatoes are starchy, but it ain't a fuckin slurpee. Should you eat like this forever? Absolutely not, but if you eat like this for 12 week consistently, rock it in the gym and you don't gain weight, then I don't know what to tell you
Also, drink lots of water. Water is your friend and dehydration is bad.... and on that note.. I'm going to bed... peace out bitches.
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