what is your inspiration?

(all quotes from Henry Rollins, "The Iron")

"Yukio Mishima said that he could not entertain the idea of romance if he was not strong. Romance is such a strong and overwhelming passion, a weakened body cannot sustain it for long. I have some of my most romantic thoughts when I am with the Iron. Once I was in love with a woman. I thought about her the most when the pain from a workout was racing through my body.

Everything in me wanted her. So much so that sex was only a fraction of my total desire. It was the single most intense love I have ever felt, but she lived far away and I didn't see her very often. Working out was a healthy way of dealing with the loneliness. To this day, when I work out I usually listen to ballads."

If you've never read "The Iron" by Henry Rollins, (http://www.oldtimestrongman.com/strength-articles/iron-henry-rollins) I implore you to do so, athlete or not... for me, it hits home harder than anything I've ever read in my entire life. This is one of my favorite passages in it, because like him, I train the same way.

Most people like to use anger to drive them in the weight room... they use it as motivation and I get that, but I've always found that anger makes me mess up. Anger drives me to think with a clouded vision... I prefer passion. I prefer to think of things in my past, regrets, missed opportunities, failed romances and potential new ones... opportunities that are there and I need to push myself to take control of.. they drive me to think clearly of what I've given up or let slip through my hands and make me want to be better, more so than anger ever could.

I'd rather listen to a song that inspires emotion and hell, even chokes me up a little. Failure is what drives me, or rather, the fear of facing it again. I've learned that no matter how strong I get, no matter how much of a burden on my back I can carry, no matter how much physical pain I can endure, I am weak when it comes to caring about things... when it comes to caring about my friends and my family... I can't hold back when I want something and feel so passionately about it. This is what drives me and I've learned to harness it.

"I believe that when the body is strong, the mind thinks strong thoughts. Time spent away from the Iron makes my mind degenerate. I wallow in a thick depression. My body shuts down my mind.

The Iron is the best antidepressant I have ever found. There is no better way to fight weakness than with strength. Once the mind and body have been awakened to their true potential, it's impossible to turn back."

I've touched on this in previous posts, but accomplishment is one of the greatest things you can do for yourself... My rock bottom isn't as low as most people's, but I've been there... drunk and depressed, not giving a fuck about anything. I gave up on school several times, but I'm still here and I'll finish it through... the only thing that has kept me going though was my love for my sport.

Yes, it has caused me to alienate people sometimes, but it has also saved me from my own demise. It gave me a reason to better myself and it gave and continues to give me hope. Every time I go to the gym to train, I feel fear... it's a good kind of fear though, an anxiety that makes me happy when it's conquered... when you sit around and just don't give a fuck about anything, the fear brings things into perspective

And, much like Mr. Rollins, when I'm away from that fear, from pushing myself to the limits, it makes me depressed... it makes me go crazy... I can't think straight and I wind up making mistakes... however, a week back into heavy training and everything gets back into focus.... it really is a life saver.

"The Iron never lies to you. You can walk outside and listen to all kinds of talk, get told that you're a god or a total bastard. The Iron will always kick you the real deal. The Iron is the great reference point, the all-knowing perspective giver. Always there like a beacon in the pitch black. I have found the Iron to be my greatest friend. It never freaks out on me, never runs. Friends may come and go. But two hundred pounds is always two hundred pounds."
I don't think I can say it any clearer... I've met a lot of people in my life, from high school, to the military, to college and elsewhere... some great friends and some great acquaintances, but the one thing that has never changed is the iron... I always know to expect.. either victory or defeat, but either way, I know I'll be "kicked the real deal".

I've found that nowadays, people don't want real honesty... real honesty hurts, real honesty is what makes people "crazy"... go for it, go tell someone you're trying to pursue that you care about them and see how far that gets you... go tell your boss how much of an asshole he or she is... go tell your friend that what they're doing in life is fucking stupid... it's honest, but no one wants to hear it... they want to hear things that will give them hope... it's sad, but true.

Personally, I'll take honesty... I don't want to hear bullshit that will get my hopes up.. I'm a fucking man, either kick it to me straight or shut the fuck up. That's what the iron does and that's why I love it.

So what drives you? Is it anger? is it passion? Are you sick of looking around at the world and seeing nothing but bullshit in front of you everyday? If so, find something that is always honest, always real... it'll do you good.... and if you haven't yet, pick up a fucking weight, I promise it'll change your life.