you don't know how shitty you actually feel till you stop feeling like shit

As a lot of you know, I've spent the last few months on a diet, cutting some body fat so I could not only be more agile in my sport of strongman, but also because I'm not a fan of being an unhealthy, fat, slob who has to take 5 minute breaks in between tying each shoe. I went from a fat 315 to a pretty respectable 300. My strength has sky rocketed and I've never felt better... well, thats not true, I felt great when I was 20, in the Army, about 9 percent body fat and could run 10 miles at the drop of a hat, but I digress... check out the progress in the link below.

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=234095&id=749848174&l=477f82c02d

Anyway, after my 12 weeks of the diet was over, I, being the the stupid asshole with no will power that I am, decided to start adding some foods back into my diet. I even went out and bought the same protein powder (I won't say which one, but it rhymes with Onster Ilk) I used to drink before I started my diet. What can I say? I wanted to EAT! Something horrible happened though... I started to feel the way I did before the diet! I felt (and still do as I'm writing this) awful! I began to reintroduce foods that were making me feel like shit in the first place.

You see, I never knew how awful I actually felt until I started to feel great. When I cut out all the shitty foods, booze, and other factors that were adding to my demise, I started to feel awesome. A lot of people go through life feeling like a complete tub of goo without even knowing it. They wake up feeling like shit, they drive to work feeling like shit, they come home feeling like shit and they go to bed feeling like shit. The sad part is though, they're so used to it, that its just, normal.

Its kind of like the allegory of the cav... uhhh, that might go over some of my reader's heads... Its kind of like the Truman Show. He never knew anything but the world that was presented to him and that was his reality. So many people have felt like shit for so long that they never know what feeling good ACTUALLY feels like.

Don't believe me? Give it a shot. Cut out the big food antagonists like dairy, wheat, alcohol and sugar for two weeks and then let me know how you feel. I'll bet you feel about 100 times better than you do now. Then, if you want, start to reintroduce those foods.

I learned that I can handle dairy very well, but wheat gluten makes me feel like doo doo brown. Its because of this, that I'm going to be going back to my "diet" and do another 12 weeks... my guess though, is that I'll be following this regimen for the duration of my competitive streak.

Believe me, when I get to the point that my ego no longer dictates the decisions in my life and I no longer want to, or probably, will be able to compete, my diet is going to be very simple. Can you say only 4 meals a day consisting of meat and vegetables? How easy is that?

Anyway, give an elimination diet a shot for 2 weeks and then let me know how fucking awesome you feel compared to the way you feel now.

My top 10 foods for bulking

I've gotten a lot of requests to give my two cents on a bulking diet... I don't know why, I'm just a schmuck with a keyboard, but ehhh, what the hell.

Personally, when it comes to gaining weight, it should be common sense, eat more than you burn, but... for some reason people can't grasp that concept. Eating a lot means, A LOT! 3 big meals a day won't cut it. You should shoot for more like 7 big meals a day.... lets just say, you should never not be full.

Now, before I get into my rant, you're probably wondering whats up with my new writing style.. ie, short and choppy sentences. Big Lou Costa told me that paragraphs don't keep people's attention, so I'm giving this a shot... I think he's doing it to sabotage me because he's jealous that I'm a lot more better looking than he is, but who knows.

Anyway, back to binge eating.. err, bulking. I know you think you eat a lot and for some reason, be it genetics, or otherwise, you just can't seem to gain weight. I'm gonna take a guess and say that you eat like a bitch... a whiny bitch at that. I'll give you my top 10 foods and then I'll write up a sample menu based on a 200lb guy and hopefully, it'll give you an idea what I mean by eating a lot. These will be in no particular order.

#10- Whole Milk
Whole milk is awesome.. I mean, 150 calories per cup, some good testosterone producing saturated fats, some sugars to refill your glycogen, and lets not forget, a great source of complete protein. Shit, just a half gallon a day is an extra easy 1200 calories. If you're lactose intolerant, get the lactose free version, or just deal with it... pussy.

#9- Oatmeal
Another great, calorie dense food, full of nutrients and fiber and will keep you fueled for those long hard days in the gym... but if you need someone to tell you how to get big, then your workout probably sucks anyway.

#8- Ground Beef (or any other type of meat)
I don't care if its 80/20 or 95/5.... just eat red meat. I like ground beef because its easy to cook and extremely versatile, but all meats are welcome.

#7- Eggs
Eat the whole god damned thing. Mother nature wasn't stupid, thats why she made eggs with a white and a yolk. The yolk is so damn nutrient dense, its ridiculous. Oh yea, forget about all that bullshit you learned about cholesterol and how its bad for you, nothing could be further from the truth.... sugar causes heart disease, not fat and cholesterol.

#6- Heavy Cream
Again, just some good animal fats and calorie dense. You should really eat fat with your protein because they work synergisticly. Think about it, mother nature isn't an idiot.

#5- Green vegetables
I know what you're thinking, "they're not full of protein and calories! how can they be good for bulking?" Because you need to eat your fucking vegetables. You still need to have a balanced diet and get your vitamins and say your prayers, brother!

#4- Nuts
Again, full of fiber, protein and good fats that will keep you fueled and give you some good calories. Plus, there have been studies shown that people who eat certain nuts are less likely to die prematurely... whatever the fuck that means.

#3- Fatty fish
Salmon is my favorite. Make sure you get it with the skin on.... want to know how to make the skin taste like bacon? Heat up some oil in a frying pan (preferably olive oil or coconut oil) and butter the skin side of a salmon filet... don't be a bitch with the butter either. Put it in the frying pan so the butter and oil hit each other, cook till its pink halfway through and then flip and cook to your desired doneness.... the skin will be your new favorite part. Oh yea, its also full of fat and protein... notice all the good healthy whole foods that are dense in protein are also full of fat... again, thats nature telling you something.

#2- Yogurt
Yogurt is good because not only does it have some good complete protein, but it also has little friend guys that like to keep your gut in check. Plus, who doesn't like yogurt? Communists, thats who.

#1- Whey protein
You need protein and its a great way to add extra protein into your diet. Plus, there is a myriad of other benefits whey protein has for your body. Just take my word for it.

Wow, coming up with 10 foods was harder than I though. Really, any food is good for bulking, as long as its nutrient and calorie dense and you're focusing on protein! Protein is our friend, but you knew that already.

Now, here is a simple meal plan I would do if I was a 200lb guy trying to put on size.

First, I'd make sure I was getting at least 2 grams of protein per pound of bodyweight.. so thats 400 grams per day.

A lot of people say that to gain weight, you need to eat at least 18-20 calories per pound of bodyweight a day. I personally, find I can gain a lot of weight with a significantly lower number. But lets start with 18 calories per pound, per day. Thats 3600 at the MINIMUM you should get a day. I'm not going to get into any fancy numbers, but I would focus on protein and let the rest of the macro nutrients fall into place... you're bulking, not trying to rub yourself down with oil so you can fit into a speedo... although, that might go hand in hand for some of you.

Sample Menu

Meal 1
4 hardboiled eggs
2 cups Oatmeal
16.oz Whole milk with a scoop or two of whey protein mixed in
(You could also just mix the whey protein with water and add a cup or two of yogurt here)

Meal 2
2 cups whole milk
2-3 scoops whey protein
1 Tbsp. mixed nuts

Meal 3
12 oz. ground beef
A sweet potato with some butter
a cup of Broccoli

Meal 4
2 cups whole milk
2-3 scoops whey protein
1 Tbsp. mixed nuts

Meal 5
12 oz. Salmon
Sweet potato or regular potato with some sour cream or butter
Spinach salad with your choice of salad dressing

Meal 6
2 cups whole milk
2-3 scoops whey protein
1 Tbsp. mixed nuts

Meal 7 (Switch it with any meal for your post workout shake)
3 scoops whey
70-80 grams waxy maize
5-10 grams creatine

This is a simple 6 meal diet plan. There is a half gallon of milk in there and tons of protein. Notice there aren't any processed foods in there and that its low on sugary products. Yea, potatoes are starchy, but it ain't a fuckin slurpee. Should you eat like this forever? Absolutely not, but if you eat like this for 12 week consistently, rock it in the gym and you don't gain weight, then I don't know what to tell you

Also, drink lots of water. Water is your friend and dehydration is bad.... and on that note.. I'm going to bed... peace out bitches.

Having a solid foundation

Let me begin with a scenario that we've all seen. You walk into a gym and low and behold, there are dozens of dudes gettin their swoll on with bicep curls and bench presses. They're hitting their inner "pecs" with cable crossovers and they're doing drop set cable curls so they can make their "peaks" really pop. Now, here is the other half of the equation. These dudes are usually about 160lbs with no real muscle mass and they're trying to isolate muscles that aren't even there! Look, if my wrists are larger than your biceps, then all the concentration curls in the world aren't going to save your puny ass.

What am I talking about here? A solid foundation. If you don't have a solid foundation of muscle mass to work with, then why the hell are you trying to isolate groups and doing these bullshit muscle mag workouts? The farthest thing from your mind should be how to isolate a bodypart. Do you want to know a secret that these magazines don't want you to know? If you're a beginner, you really only need about 6 core exercises to get jacked and gain a significant amount of muscle. I'm going to go over these exercsises, how to incorporate them, and why they are THE foundation to adding size to not only your frame, but inches to your arms and legs.

First things first though. You need to get your mind away from those fucking muscle magazines and the bullshit they have in there. Pretending to be a pro bodybuilder is a horrible idea if you don't understand the basics. For instance, a couple days ago, I was on a popular forum and I spouted off at the mouth that I could get someone jacked with a program using only 6 exercises. All of the sudden, my inbox was flooded with inquiries and people asking me to write them a program. I obliged the first person who emailed me and gave him a simple out line. What was funny though, was even after I gave him an outline of only 6 exercises to do... HE ASKED ME WHAT ELSE HE SHOULD DO! Apparently he didn't grasp the concept that we were only going to use 6 exercises. Now, you're probably asking yourself as well, "Only 6 exercises? Thats like half of my bicep routine"... forget all those fancy ways to make your guns huge in a month and all sorts of other bullshit claims. If you're a beginner with the iron, regardless of future goals, you need to build some solid muscle before you go tweaking it. You wouldn't build a car without a chasis would you?

Ok, before we get into the exercises, lets go into why they're this shiznit and why we're using these to make you look buffer than Brutus the Beefcake. First off, all of these exercises are going to be "compound movements"... say it with me, COM-POUND MOVE-MENTS. What that means, is that the lift, or "movement" is going to utilize more than one joint in your body. Why are we doing this? Because, whehter you want to believe it or not, your body works as a system, a system of systems actually. When you're lifting weights, your body has no clue that you're trying to get jacked so you can nail that hot chick in your class, the only thing it knows is that there is weight trying to crush it and it needs to adapt so that it can survive. Don't get me wrong, the workouts you use in a magazine will work for a little while, because your body is always open to adapting to new stimuli, but to really pack on the muscle, these movements are your bread and butter. Think about it this way, in order for you to add an inch to the diameter of your upper arm, your body has to gain a certain, and significant, amount of muscle mass ALL OVER! I forget the exact numbers, but they're out there. Again, you might add some size at first when you begin training, but it will, without a doubt, always stagnate unless you add more muscle mass to the rest of your body. By utilizing compound movements, your body works as a whole to add muscle mass all over the place, so that muscles work synergistically.

Are the big words getting you? Ok then, lets move on to the movements. My top 6 movements for adding mass, and some people might disagree with me on specifics, but they'll all agree that compound movements are the best, are the squat, deadlift, press variation, pull up variations, heavy rows and explosive movements (snatch or power cleans). If you did only these movements for the next year, heavily, I 100% gaurentee you that you'll go from a giant pussy "someone shoot that cunt with a bazooka!"... to a stud, or a hot chick.. depending on gender.

Before we go further, lets break those down into lower and upper body movements.

Lower body= squats, dead lifts, explosive movements

Upper body= press variation, pull up variation, heavy rows

Now, I'm going to just give you a basic outline of what I would give to a beginner.

Monday- Lower body movement- 5 sets of 5 reps

Tuesday- Upper body movement- 5 sets of 5 reps

Thursday- Lower body movement- 5 sets of 5 reps

Friday- Upper body movement- 5 sets of 5 reps

Yea, its that simple. I didn't add warm ups in there, because they should be a given, and if they're not, then your a stupid face dumb dumb. Also, you're asking yourself right now "ZACH, WHERE ARE ALL THE BICEP CURLS!"... fuck them, do this set up and watch your arms turn into pythons.. i mean, pythons that will let you rip a yellow wife beater off of you until you're a blonde haired senior citizen. Also, you're probably asking yourself, "where's all the volume?!" Well, if you're doing it correctly, and by correctly, I mean lifting heavy enough that it kicks your ass, you won't need, nor want to do any accessory work. Not at least until you're a little bit more of an advanced lifter.'

Now, I can hear the questions already blairing off in your head, "but shouldn't I be doing a 3-0-1-0 tempo so I can utilize time under tension and elicit an increase in GH and IGF-1 and blah blah blah, Muscle and Fitness, and blah blah blah?" dude, shut the fuck up first of all. second of all, when did you become the next Ronnie Coleman? No, you shouldn't be doing that, you should be lifting heavy ass shit so your body grows, because these heavy exercises utilize more than one joint in the body and if you're doing them heavy enough, will release all those silly hormones to make you grow so that you can learn to handle the weight and the prehistoric part of your brain can tell itself "damn, we won't need to worry about being crushed by that weight again"... and honeslty, we're all laughing at you when you're doing bicep curls with those tiny 13" arms.

One last thing. I know chicks are probably thinking "but I don't want to get huge".... This can not be reiterated enough... you don't possess the hormones to put on a significant amount of muscle mass like a man, so stop crying and lift some god damn weights. All those high volume leg presses you're doing are going to make your legs "over muscular" a lot quicker than a 5x5 squat program. Plus, have you ever seen the ass of a chick that squats and deadlifts? GOD DAMN! Make you wanna marry a (instert explative here).

Why mentality is everything

We've become a society of complacency. Everything, every product, issue, and it seems, much to my dismay, every new bill or law passed by congress, is made for us to be comfortable and make life easier. Sure, I love the fact that I can write this blog in my big leather chair, while listening to my iTunes and enjoying shelter from the elements, but it disgusts me how mentally weak we've become as a society. So many people feel as though they're "owed" something. People complain about how they can't afford health care and how the government should give it out for free, but they then they seem to be able to afford brand new smart phones, 100 dollar shoes, Ed Hardy t shirts (my disgust for Ed Hardy can't be described in words), jewelery, nights out at the bar, and a myriad of other luxuries... luxuries being the key word. Do I believe that everyone should be able to afford health care? Sure, but I don't believe that it is a necessity to have a cell phone, so you have to pick, do you want health care or the new iphone? Sure, there are people that are truly struggling and deserve some intervention from someone who can help them, but unless you're a single mother raising a plethora of kids and working 2 jobs to give them whatever you can, then I don't know how sorry I feel for you. Ok, enough political discussion, lets get to what I'm talking about. We've become complacent, seeking comfort where there is struggle. This isn't a good thing. We've fallen into a rut, one that I try to fight every damn day of my life. We're born, raised with the notion that if we work hard and do good in school, get into a good college and find a good job, we'll live happily ever after, but thats not the case. Its the easy way out and thats the reason it has been ingrained into our minds all of out lives.

What does this have to do with training? Well, because of the way we've been raised and shown to find the easy way out, a lot of, if not the majority of people in the world go to a gym, hop on a treadmill everyday (I'm being optimistic here) and put it on a setting they KNOW they can handle, with a goal they KNOW they'll be able to reach and then they get off and feel like they've accomplished something. They go through their whole day, satisfied that they challenged themselves and that they've been productive. Here's my question to them... what did they accomplish? I wake up and piss every morning because I KNOW I can do it, but I haven't accomplished anything. Its a routine, it isn't a hurdle. People get so complacent that they make their workouts "routines" and that is antithesis of what a good training program should be.

I'll admit, I've been guilty of this myself, or rather, I was a long time ago. It took me a long time to realize that when you are training, or "working out", that every time you're in the gym, it should be a challenge. Go to any hardcore gym, preferably one where they allow chalk, death metal, heavy ass lifting, and big meatheads, you'll notice that almost every time these guy and gals train, that they are setting new PR's (or personal records). They push themselves past their comfort zone so that they are always pursuing bigger and better things. If you never step out of the box and try to push yourself past the limits that you think you've set for yourself, then you'll never move forward. People get stuck in a circle. They get upset with the way their progress is going, try something different, but not challenging, maybe see some results and then 6 weeks later, they're angry at their stalling progress again. Its maddening, I know. I did it for years, that is until I started working with people who are stronger and better than me in certain areas that I learned that I needed to improve. For instance, for the first year that I was training strongman, I went in and I never really pushed myself on training overhead pressing. I though, "Damn, I'm pressing in the 200's, thats pretty bad ass", until one day, I was pushed to hit 300. I did it for a double. And then, my training partner Brad said he was going to attempt 350 for an axle clean and press. I thought to myself "man, I wish I could hit that weight" and then after he did it successfully, I was egged on to give it a shot. Here is my first attempt:



Sure, I failed, but I failed while trying to do something I've never done! I had never even imagined pressing even close to that weight until that day... Hell, I didn't think I'd make it over 300lbs! This showed me that it was possible, that it was attainable, and this is the result when I said fuck it, and tried it again:



I made a PR that day but I never would have even come close to that if it hadn't been for the people I train with, egging me on to get outside of my comfort zone and PUSH MYSELF! And because I knew that that sort of weight was attainable and that I was able to unlock a mental barrier, a few months later, this happened:



I hit 370 and I never looked back. I'm chasing down records for the overhead press and I will get them. I know it and thats all that matters. I've unlocked that portion of my mental drive that allows me to realize that crazy, unimaginable things are more than attainable.

Now, another portion of mental training, which can be applied to life is realizing that there is no one else to blame but yourself. If the world is shitting on you, its your fault. No one else's. Excuses are for assholes. You want an excuse, I have a list of them in my gym bag. Sure, I keep it in their as a joke if I miss a lift... I can just point to one and feel better about myself, but at the end of the day, you and I both know that I can't blame anyone for a missed lift or a failed attempt at something, but ourselves. I hear it all the time from people "I'm just don't have the genes to be good at this" or "well, that guy is good because he's a natural". Are you fucking kidding me? All those "naturals" out there probably put in more work toward their sport or talent in a day than you do in a year and THAT'S why they're better than you. If more people started taking responsibilities for their own actions and overcoming their own insecurities, this world would be a much better place.

My last bit of information is something that I've read about recently and I've probably talked about, but I'll reiterate. A lot of people I talk to will ask me about strongman and my training and then say something like, "Damn man, I wish I could put on size as easy as you do" and I just laugh. Easy? You think that this has been easy? You think that I, or anyone else out there that is into strength sports came across this stuff easily? You're right, I love staying in every weekend so I can wake up before the sun to train, instead of going out drinking with my friends and chasing hot college tail. I love force feeding 7 meals down my throat a day so I'll grow. I love waking up, feeling like I've been hit by a truck everyday, with pains from injuries that would probably have most people layed up in a bed in the hospital. I love going to a party or watching a football game with friends and watching them drink beer while I'm down protein shakes. I fucking hate doing all those things, but guess what, I LOVE the sport that I compete in and I make those sacrifices so that I can excel in them. It amazes me that people sit there and eat complete shit everyday, drink their asses off and get barely any exercise and then have the gall to bitch and wonder why they aren't athletes or why they're not like those "lucky guys and girls" out there who are bigger, stronger, faster, and thinner than them. Here's an idea, get off your fat fucking ass, put down the pizza and pick up some weights and some chicken breasts and stop making all these fucking excuses.

3 ingredients for awesomeness

Ok, so time for a recipe. Here is a simple dish I've been eating a lot recently. Not only is it packed full of protein and some carbs to keep you strong and awesome, but it also tastes like you've just eaten something naughty. It does require some prep work, but I'm going to just run over it quickly since i'm writing this on my phone.

Step 1: grill up some sirloin. I buy the 2lb London Brooks and grill it up till it's about medium rare and then I slice it against the grain in slices about a 1/4 inch thick (even a little thinner). Put into some Tupperware and store in fridge.

Step 2: cook some rice. Follow the directions on the box and you should yield about 3 cups. (3 servings for this dish)

Step 3: put a cup of cooled precooked rice into a sauce pan. Add enough chicken stock to it to cover the rice. Bring to a boil and then turn the heat down to medium.

Step 4: keep an eye on the rice. When the stock has boiled down to the point that it looks like creamy rice, add 8 ounces of the sirloin (chopped into bite size pieces). Cook for about a minute.

Step 5: put on your plate and eat. Add salt to taste.

I promise you it'll taste amazing. You'll feel like you just ate something horribly bad for you for a measly 650 or so protein packed calories. Eat up and enjoy!

eating less and moving more works.. right?

Disclaimer: Insert the usual one in here.. I'm not a scientist and I'm not going to site anything because this is all stuff that I have picked up over the years and I am writing this free form. No books in front of me. If you want to call me out on it, call me out, but either way, I suggest you go check out the facts for yourself. You'd be amazed at what happens when you think critically and figure shit out for yourself.

"If I eat less and move more, then I'll lose weight!" Unfortunately, no. That's what we'd all like to believe though. That's great on paper, but the human body is a lot more complicated than that. The laws of thermodynamics don't apply 100% when it comes to calories and "burning more than you consume" I know some fucking physics nerd is going to call me out, so let me explain. There are 4 different macro nutrients that our body can use as fuel. Each one consisting of a different make up of Hydrogen, Oxygen and Carbon atoms. The four macro nutrients are alcohol, fat, protein and carbohydrates. (Believe it or not, alcohol is the preferred source for energy in the human body, but I'll explain later.) Each of these macro nutrients takes a certain amount of energy to break down because each one had a different chemical structure. Also, except for carbs and protein, which are both 4 calories per gram, they all have different energy expenditures, fat being about 9 calories per gram and alcohol being 7 calories per gram. (I say about 9 for fats because it can be different, for example, medium chain triglycerides can be about 5-7 calories per gram.)

Now, lets talk about alcohol briefly before I get into the main 3. You're body actually prefers to burn alcohol for energy. I don't remember exactly why, but I do know that to be the truth (check it out for yourself if you don't believe me, I'll wait). My guess, its just easier to break down. I mean, the rate at which the body metabolises alcohol is pretty quick. This is why people get beer guts though. This is why I became a 315lb tub of goo. When you drink, especially in mass quantity, your body pretty much stops metabolizing everything but alcohol. So if you're going on an all night bender and then eating disco fries (french fries with cheese and gravy for all my non-Jersey friends) then your body is going to store that until it stops metabolising the alcohol, and then , it'll probably do a shitty job of metabolizing that. If you're anything like me, after a bender, whether you had a huge meal before bed or not, you want something greasy for breakfast before you go back to bed and become useless for the next 24-48 hours. So all those calories are just stored while your body is still burning the midnight oil, or alcohol. Case in point, if you're going to be an athlete or someone dedicated to an awesome physique, keep the booze to a minimum... if you can drink and still maintain an awesome body, well then fuck you because I'm jealous.

Ok, now on to the other three macros. The next one I'm going to talk about is protein. I know, this all seems like a repeat of my food guide pyramid rant, but I want to get into a little more depth. Protein is the end all be all of awesomeness. It builds bodies to be strong, fast and.... awesome. It is used for millions of functions in the human body. I'm not even going to write a list of things it does because, it'll just take forever. Protein only has a caloric value of 4 calories per gram, but it takes a lot of energy for the body to digest and use protein. This is why all of us stupid meatheads eat tons of it. Not only does it build us up, but a high protein meal actually takes more energy to digest, leaving us feeling fuller, longer, or what we like to call "satiated". This is where the laws of thermodynamics begin to get sketchy in the human body, but lets move onto the other 2 macro nutrients before we bring everything together.

Next up, is carbohydrates... the evil villain... well, not really. As much as I may seem to hate these little fuckers, I don't. I hate the way that our government and "nutrition experts" have lied to us about their importance and benefits. I mean, I can't believe that they are still preaching the same diet they have been for the last 40 years in college nutrition classes, when any 101 level biochemistry student should be able to tell you that it just doesn't make any sense scientifically. Any who, carbohydrates are an important macro nutrient for people who are VERY active. For the common man, not so much. Like I said in the food guide pyramid rant, despite popular belief, carbohydrates are virtually an unnecessary macro nutrient. We don't need them to live day to day. Am I saying to not eat any? Not at all, but if you're not an athlete training to perform optimally, your carbs shouldn't come from anything but fruits and veggies (and dairy if you can handle it). That doesn't mean you can't indulge in some pastries every once in a while, but the idea that if you eat a bagel with nothing on it is taking a right step in the direction toward being a healthy human is fucking stupid. The idea that eating whole grains, a food that we can not eat in its raw form and must be milled and processed for us to eat, is stupid. Carbohydrates are made up of sugars, starches and cellulose and as a whole are what can be referred to as saccharides, or "sugars". There are different types of saccharides, and if you haven't been living in a cave for the past couple years, you've probably heard about the difference between simple sugars and complex carbohydrates. Really, I look at these as marketing ploys more than anything else. Sure, there are complex carbohydrates which take longer to digest and empty into the intestines, but any of them will spike insulin, it all becomes glucose once broken down and they're all bad in abundance, so in my eyes, its all the same, Anyway, carbs have an caloric make up of 4 calories per gram, just like protein, but here's the thing. When you ingest carbs, which virtually require no energy to digest, you're body releases insulin. Insulin's job is to shuttle carbs out of the blood stream and into either muscles or fat cells. When you eat an abundance of carbs, like we've been told to do our whole lives, you're body keeps releasing more and more insulin, especially if you eat them without fat or protein. After a while, your body becomes insulin resistant, meaning that it can no longer do its job of utilizing carbs correctly. This is when people have an elevated level of sugar in the bloodstream (which is extremely dangerous) and they start storing the sugar as fat. That's when we get into adult onset diabetes, obesity, metabolic syndrome, etc. So to sum up, if you're not pushing your body to the limits, an abundance of carbs is about as smart as filling your gas tank with sugar.

Now, onto fat.. evil evil fat. If that were only true, we'd be a nation of slim and good looking people. Unfortunately, we're not.... well, I'm really good looking, but most of you aren't. Fat has had a bad rap for the past couple decades and its unfortunate. "Fat", much like carbs, has different substrates. In fancy terms, we call fats triglycerides or fatty acids. There are tons of different fatty acids and bond structures of fat. Their are long chained fatty acids, short chained fatty acids, medium chained fatty acids, etc. The general public probably knows most fats as Trans fatty acids, Mono-unsaturated fatty acids, Poly-unsaturated fatty acids and then of course, the "Evil" saturated fatty acids. Well, lets talk about how fat got a bad rap and why the people who told this bullshit are stupid idiots. I've mentioned in my food guide rant that some dickface named Ancel Keys did a study based upon fat consumption and heart disease in countries across the world. He found quite a few countries that ate very little to no fat and had low incidences of heart disease, great! He forgot to mention all the countries that ate a ton fat and had little to no heart disease, or the countries that ate very little fat and were rampant with heart disease. Its not lying if you just simply omit it, right? So, after countless studies linking fat to heart disease, they concluded that fat caused heart disease... wait a minute, there aren't any studies linking fat to heart disease. Nope, none. The simple fact of the matter is, the diet we've come to know and love, based on low fat, is based on complete nonsense and totally unfounded. Humans need fat for millions of things to occur in the body. We thrive on fat, its simple physiology. We especially thrive on animal fats... saturated fats! You know what happens when people eat low fat diets? They usually become depressed, sluggish and fat! Weird right? Also, the body utilizes fat as an energy source, unless there is an abundance of sugar in the bloodstream, then, and only then, does it store it. If you want more info on this, watch the movie "Fathead", read the book "Good Calorie, Bad Calorie" and then learn biochemistry. Anyway, fats can have different caloric values. Usually, we just count them as 9 calories per gram, but certain fats like MCT's (Medium chained triglycerides) can be anywhere from 5-7 grams. These are commonly found in coconut oil. Here is a little bit of info a friend shared with me yesterday, just to give you an idea of why they're good for us:

"Coconut represents a vegetarian-sourced saturated fat consisting of medium chain fatty acids (MCFA).

Scientists have long recognized MCFAs such as lauric and capric acid for their anti-viral and anti-microbial properties. The body utilizes MCFAs as energy instead of storing them as fat.

COCONUT HEALTH BENEFITS & FACTS
Here are just a few health benefits ascribed to coconut:
•Coconut consuming cultures around the world have lower incidence of heart disease than Americans.1
•Lauric acid exists abundantly in coconut and plays a fundamental role in building our body’s immune system. Once in our system it transforms into an antibacterial and antiviral substance called "monolaurin" which destroys viruses and diseases.2
•Lauric acid also occurs naturally in human breast milk and plays a vital role in nourishing and protecting babies from infections.3
•MCFAs promote weight maintenance without raising cholesterol levels. They work best for preventing weight gain if you’re not overweight or maintaining your new weight after a successful diet.4

In sum, coconut is a beneficial food with numerous attributes that help people thrive when made part of a well balanced diet."

Not sure where she got it from, but again, check it out for yourselves. The one thing that bothers me about it is the "doesn't raise cholesterol".... no fats raise cholesterol. Well, they might raise your HDL (which isn't cholesterol), but in order to raise those little guys, guess what you need to eat... Fat! Cholesterol is important for humans, WE NEED CHOLESTEROL! That's why our body produces its own cholesterol and is very good at regulating it. Eating a diet low in cholesterol is stupid. Why do you think that ALL vegans are idiots? (Sorry, but veganism may be the single most retarded thing to ever happen in human existence... I can understand loose vegetarianism from an ethical viewpoint of not wanting to kill animals to eat, but to eat absolutely zero animal products, which provide very important fatty acids and complete proteins, is just plain dumb. Especially since you can not get EFA's and DHA's from non animal sources, except a certain type of (the word isn't coming to me, but its kind of like seaweed) that you must grow and harvest, and even then, its minimal. Yet, vegetarians will argue that you can get ALA (alpha lipoic acid) from plant sources and that the body can convert it into DHA and EPA... well, its very very inefficient and it just ain't the same. (I can use "ain't" in a scientific argument, right?)

Ok, so we have a little overview of each of the macro nutrients, their caloric make up, and how the body utilizes them. Lets move on to my original statement. The idea is that if you move more and eat less will create a caloric deficit, causing weight loss. Sure, theoretically, this is great, but it all depends on what you're using as fuel. When you eat a meal full of fat and protein, the body uses a shit load (that's a viable means of measurement, so fuck off) more energy to digest that and put it to use. Not only that, but most of it will be used on the cellular level to rebuild muscle, solidify cell wall structure, fuel the brain, build strong and healthy bones and blah blah blah, while the rest of it is burned off to just fuel the body. So lets say that you eat a meal that's 500 calories. If its made up of fat and protein, you're going to use a good portion of that energy just digesting the food and it will keep you fuller longer, not to mention, the body needs the fat to help absorb vitamins and utilize the protein (Vitamin A is needed for proper protein utilization. Vitamin A is a fat soluble vitamin) Also, when you eat a diet made up of protein and fat, guess what isn't secreted? Insulin. You're insulin levels don't spike, and they don't store anything into fat cells. Now, if you ate that same amount of calories coming from just carbs and protein (since we're assuming you're following the handy dandy awesome fat free diet) your body will spend some energy digesting the protein and little to no energy digesting the carbs (you start utilizing carbohydrates during the chewing process, but since it takes energy to chew, you're expending some energy) Now, the carbs are digested in the stomach, turned into chime, and shot out of your pyloric sphincter into the duodenum (small intestines.... haha, i said sphincter) After that, it is sent into the blood stream where it is brought to the liver and stored. Once the liver is full of glycogen, it will begin to store carbs elsewhere, ie, skeletal muscle. This is where insulin comes into play. Insulin spikes, frantically trying to get sugar out of the blood and into either muscle or fats cells, so it can fall back to normal levels. That's why we always here "the experts" talk about complex carbs which "maintain low insulin levels"... So each of those meals, even though they are equal in terms of calories, have very very different affects on the human body.

Now, the one thing that people like to confuse is losing weight vs. losing fat... ok, you lost 10 pounds, congratulations, you still look like shit. What the fuck is 10 pounds in the grand scheme of things? Hell, I poop and piss 10 pounds. Most of the time, when people go on these low calorie diets to lose weight, they lose a lot of muscle mass. That's a bad thing, and here's why. Lean skeletal muscle, the good stuff, uses a lot of energy to just maintain, let alone how much it uses when put to action. So the more muscle mass you have, the easier it is to stay strong and healthy, and, the more calories you can safely consume! "But Zach, I've been running all the time, isn't that good?" Look, I'm not going to ever tell someone who is fit and active to stop doing what they're doing, but if you're main goal is fat loss, then just running, or doing any type cardio for prolonged periods, isn't the answer. Weight training is the single greatest thing ever invented... it cures cancer and sexual depravity. It makes people want to bang you. Basically, when you do large bouts of cardio, your body looks for an easier fuel to use than fat. So, it uses stored glycogen and then, hopefully fat, but a lot of the time, especially on a low calorie diet, it will revert to muscle mass. Its easier to break down muscle mass into an amino acid than it is to break down fat, especially in an aerobic environment (when you use oxygen for fuel). When you lift weights, or do any anaerobic exercise, your body actually preserves muscle mass. Lifting weights and proper diet will preserve the hard earned muscle you've been working for, even in a caloric deficit. Think about it this way. Are we, as humans, meant to run long distances and chase down prey, or are we meant to throw rocks at animals and hunt them using our brains? (I stole that analogy from Charles Poliquin) I could get into a whole lengthy article about this, about how we're not meant to run long distances based on bone structure (especially women... not being sexist, just look at the way the pelvis is formed and how the femurs are more in a V shape than men) We're, by nature, a pretty docile animal. It doesn't mean that we can't push ourselves to those lengths it takes to become distance runners, but that's not what we're talking about. Now, as I've said before, if you an athlete, disregard, but if you're the average Tom or Jane and you're looking to lose weight and "tone up" (those words make me shutter), then adding weight training is your best bet. You don't have to do the shit that me and my fellow strongmen or powerlifters do, but resistance exercise is your best bet.

Also, I don't like the idea of calorie counting and low calorie diets. Eat a diet high in protein and fats and LOW IN SUGAR! See, when you're not doing sports for competition and you don't need to push yourself to the limits that us meatheads do, you don't need all those carbs to fuel you. You don't need all that "fuel" to perform resistance exercises because they should be short and fast and should make your body say "hey, I've got to lift some heavy shit, so I need to adapt in case this ever happens again" If you just clean up your diet and focus on whole foods, you will more than likely be able to eat MORE food than you did on a lowfat/low calorie diet. Natural foods that aren't filled with sugar are designed by nature to fill you up and be nutrition dense. Think about it, a 4 oz fillet mignon is about 200 calories, now add a cup of broccoli (55 cals) and a serving of blueberries (39 calories).. that's a shit ton of food for the average person (I think.. is that a lot? sounds like snack to me although eating more than a cup of broccoli can be a chore) and what, like 300 calories? Now take one snickers bar (2.1 oz).. that's 280 cals and 30 grams of sugar, and guess what, you'll be hungry again in.. oh shit, you just unwrapped another one. So eat the first meal 6 times a day and then eat the snickers bar 6 times a day.. who's going to get leaner first? well, the first guy will, because A... he'll be pigging out and getting the same amount of calories, and B. He'll be getting good lean protein and animal fats and fiber from the veggies which will be utilized by the body efficiently and will actually do nothing but help his efforts. The second guy will be eating 180 grams of sugar a day (that's like what, 18 times the recommended amount?) will probably not be able to eat just the snickers, and I'll bet he won't have much progress.. he might lose weight, but it'll all be muscle, especially since he'll be eating way less protein than the first guy. He'll also be reaking havoc on his body, overworking his pancreas and just a myriad of other shit.

So, I've probably come sounding like I have a hate toward carbs, but again, thats not the case. I don't like the fact that for decades, we've been told to eat a low fat diet rich in whole grains. We shuoldn't be eating any whole grains and, barring coconut and olive oil (or any other plant that is naturally fatty, ie any nut oil, avacado oil, etc) we shouldn't be consuming vegetable oils... when the fuck have you ever squeezed the fat out of a piece of corn ? (Stole that from "Fathead".) If it takes a processing mill to make it edible, there is a good chance that we shouldn't be eating it. We haven't evolved as humans to eat whole grains and vegetable "oils", its just not in our genetic make up... why do you think that like 50% of the population has Ciliac disease and is allergic to gluten? I think its pretty easy to connect the dots, but then again, I'm awesome.

One last thing.. Stop eating soy.. you're fucking yourself by eating soy. Unless its fermented, than its no good, and I gaurentee you they aren't selling any fermented soy products in the grocery store.

So, to recap, not all foods are created equal. Just "getting up and moving around and eating less" won't make you lose weight and be healthy. It all depends on the foods we're eating and the type of activity we are participating in. Thats not to say to stop playing pick up basketball games or running or walking, but they may not be enough if you're tring to get rid of those man tits or muffin tops (gross).... Protein is good, Fat is our friend, carbohydrates that we get from fruits and veggies and other certain sources are good, but sugar=BAD!

Ok, I've ranted long enough, time to go eat. If I've said something that raised a red flag in your eyes, call me out on it, present me with some knowledge, call me an idiot. We can only learn from each other. And besides, what the fuck do I know? I'm just a big, dumb meathead.