what is your inspiration?

(all quotes from Henry Rollins, "The Iron")

"Yukio Mishima said that he could not entertain the idea of romance if he was not strong. Romance is such a strong and overwhelming passion, a weakened body cannot sustain it for long. I have some of my most romantic thoughts when I am with the Iron. Once I was in love with a woman. I thought about her the most when the pain from a workout was racing through my body.

Everything in me wanted her. So much so that sex was only a fraction of my total desire. It was the single most intense love I have ever felt, but she lived far away and I didn't see her very often. Working out was a healthy way of dealing with the loneliness. To this day, when I work out I usually listen to ballads."

If you've never read "The Iron" by Henry Rollins, (http://www.oldtimestrongman.com/strength-articles/iron-henry-rollins) I implore you to do so, athlete or not... for me, it hits home harder than anything I've ever read in my entire life. This is one of my favorite passages in it, because like him, I train the same way.

Most people like to use anger to drive them in the weight room... they use it as motivation and I get that, but I've always found that anger makes me mess up. Anger drives me to think with a clouded vision... I prefer passion. I prefer to think of things in my past, regrets, missed opportunities, failed romances and potential new ones... opportunities that are there and I need to push myself to take control of.. they drive me to think clearly of what I've given up or let slip through my hands and make me want to be better, more so than anger ever could.

I'd rather listen to a song that inspires emotion and hell, even chokes me up a little. Failure is what drives me, or rather, the fear of facing it again. I've learned that no matter how strong I get, no matter how much of a burden on my back I can carry, no matter how much physical pain I can endure, I am weak when it comes to caring about things... when it comes to caring about my friends and my family... I can't hold back when I want something and feel so passionately about it. This is what drives me and I've learned to harness it.

"I believe that when the body is strong, the mind thinks strong thoughts. Time spent away from the Iron makes my mind degenerate. I wallow in a thick depression. My body shuts down my mind.

The Iron is the best antidepressant I have ever found. There is no better way to fight weakness than with strength. Once the mind and body have been awakened to their true potential, it's impossible to turn back."

I've touched on this in previous posts, but accomplishment is one of the greatest things you can do for yourself... My rock bottom isn't as low as most people's, but I've been there... drunk and depressed, not giving a fuck about anything. I gave up on school several times, but I'm still here and I'll finish it through... the only thing that has kept me going though was my love for my sport.

Yes, it has caused me to alienate people sometimes, but it has also saved me from my own demise. It gave me a reason to better myself and it gave and continues to give me hope. Every time I go to the gym to train, I feel fear... it's a good kind of fear though, an anxiety that makes me happy when it's conquered... when you sit around and just don't give a fuck about anything, the fear brings things into perspective

And, much like Mr. Rollins, when I'm away from that fear, from pushing myself to the limits, it makes me depressed... it makes me go crazy... I can't think straight and I wind up making mistakes... however, a week back into heavy training and everything gets back into focus.... it really is a life saver.

"The Iron never lies to you. You can walk outside and listen to all kinds of talk, get told that you're a god or a total bastard. The Iron will always kick you the real deal. The Iron is the great reference point, the all-knowing perspective giver. Always there like a beacon in the pitch black. I have found the Iron to be my greatest friend. It never freaks out on me, never runs. Friends may come and go. But two hundred pounds is always two hundred pounds."
I don't think I can say it any clearer... I've met a lot of people in my life, from high school, to the military, to college and elsewhere... some great friends and some great acquaintances, but the one thing that has never changed is the iron... I always know to expect.. either victory or defeat, but either way, I know I'll be "kicked the real deal".

I've found that nowadays, people don't want real honesty... real honesty hurts, real honesty is what makes people "crazy"... go for it, go tell someone you're trying to pursue that you care about them and see how far that gets you... go tell your boss how much of an asshole he or she is... go tell your friend that what they're doing in life is fucking stupid... it's honest, but no one wants to hear it... they want to hear things that will give them hope... it's sad, but true.

Personally, I'll take honesty... I don't want to hear bullshit that will get my hopes up.. I'm a fucking man, either kick it to me straight or shut the fuck up. That's what the iron does and that's why I love it.

So what drives you? Is it anger? is it passion? Are you sick of looking around at the world and seeing nothing but bullshit in front of you everyday? If so, find something that is always honest, always real... it'll do you good.... and if you haven't yet, pick up a fucking weight, I promise it'll change your life.

why?

I get asked that question a lot... why do I compete? Why do I train so heavy? Why do I get injured and thirst for more? It's understandable, I guess... Why would any sane human being beat themselves to a pulp, walking on the verge of pain and suffering, day in and day out and just come back for more? I honestly, can't tell you.

I guess it's like being an addict? Maybe... As I sit here and write this, 8 weeks out of surgery from a torn bicep, I am going nuts because I can't train as hard as I want to. I'm squatting 3 times a week, against my own better judgement because I miss the feeling that comes along with training and I can't handle doing it just once a week.

The thing is, it's not just me... there is a whole network of strength athletes that understand the pain I'm going through of being away from training. We all love it... the blood, the sweat, the spots we see after a heavy set or the being on the verge of blacking out.... it's that feeling of pushing yourself to the edge and back... a feeling that not many people in the world will know, and most are afraid of. We're the few and the hungry... we yearn for that feeling.

The thing is, for as insane as we are, we're just your normal everyday people... sons, daughters, brothers, sisters, fathers, mothers, workers, students, doctors, construction workers, etc... but no matter our walk of life, there is the idea that we adhere to... that mediocrity isn't enough. It's either go hard or go home. That's probably why when we get together, the eccentricity comes out... we've grown comfortable in our own skin because we know that it takes an inner drive and intestinal fortitude to even be where we are, on the field of competition. There is no room for pettiness on the battlefield.

I've met some ridiculous personalities in this sport.. from the shy quiet guy to the most extroverted people I've ever come across, but no matter what, when it's time to step up to that bar, we all turn into the same entity... a ball of channeled rage, fear, strength, excitement and whatever other feeling it takes to overcome the task at hand. It's the risk we undertake for the accomplishment of something bigger than ourselves.

Fame isn't something that goes hand in hand with strength sports... rather, it is only afforded to the lucky few, but glory and accomplishment are feelings that we get to feel everyday. How many people that don't have something they strive to be great at can say that? Every time you push out one more rep, 10 more pounds, shave off 2 seconds on a medley time.. it's an accomplishment, a gauge to yourself that you are getting better, that you are accomplishing something.

I learned a lot time ago that our time here on earth is limited... from losing friends from all sorts of causes, to coming face to face with a couple handfuls of Iraqi fireworks... and each time, it solidified in me the desire to make myself better than normal... it solidified my idea to say what needs to be said, regardless of the outcome.... it solidified my idea to take risks and whether or not they turn out in my favor, at least I know I'll never wonder what if.

So why is it that I love strength sports? Well, because every person I've ever met in this sport and I all know the same thing... "It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat."- Theodore Roosevelt

With all that said, I encourage you to go out and do something that you love, to the point that you'll do whatever it takes to be better at it... not great at it, but better at it than you are now... take risks, tell people things that you've meant to tell them for a while... don't be mediocre, because the way things are going nowadays, we can't afford anymore mediocrity